The dog's hind leg

It surprises me still, that the notion of 'honesty is the best policy,' holds such traction. Because, as any fool knows, it absolutely isn't true.

We all lie. It doesn't matter who, it doesn't matter our age, it doesn't matter our social standing, it doesn't matter our occupation, it doesn't matter our ethnic origin or our religion. Whether we have one or not. We all lie. Lies are a matter of necessity. Without lying, we'd never be able to get through the day.

I'm not saying that being honest is a redundant option. Honesty is still a valuable commodity. If more people were more honest, the world would be in a better state.

Which comes down to our definition of honesty and the definition of the above epigram. WHEN is honesty the best policy? With only the big things or with small things as well? And who and how are these 'things' defined?

I'm thinking of the Ricky Gervais vehicle of last year; the movie where everyone was supposedly 'honest' and he invented lying. But, if truth be told (see what I did there?) the movie was less about people being honest, than it was about some strange sort of ADD crossed with Tourette's. People would just blurt out whatever came into their heads. Which is less honesty than mental problems.

For example, when he rang Jennifer Garner's doorbell, she answers it with, 'I was just upstairs masturbating.' Which may have been true but, as he didn't ask what she'd been doing, why did she feel compelled to mention it? Honesty? No, that's more of an obsessive/compulsive problem.

However, compare with the real world now. If, in our recent past, banks had have told people in the Sub Prime mortgage collapse that they really shouldn't be borrowing ANY money, let alone enough to buy a house, perhaps more people, and our own economy, would be better off. And, further to that, if government, the private sector and general common sense were involved and being honest, maybe this whole mess wouldn't have even started.

But still, there's no great answer to 'does my bum look big in this?' unless, of course, you lie.

The Luddite Review

The Kindle is finally available in Australia.

I'm sure we've had some sort of reader device for a while now but I just saw an ad last night that said the Kindle was finally available in Australia. I suppose I should be happy? I'm not really anything.

I'm too old for this new technology. Not too old in actual years, too old in mental toughness. I just don't care anymore. I like technology; I'm not a true technophobe. I love computers and the Internet and I even don't mind my mobile phone. (Not the actual phone I have now but, don't get me started on THAT particular point) I can see the need for a Kindle. I can even see the inevitability of it. But it's not something that I care for. It makes me a bit uneasy.

I don't think books will disappear, anymore than CD's will. I mean, I can still remember a time when cassettes were supposed to have ruined the music business - and records in particular - because you could just tape your favourite music from the radio. The first instance of downloading I suppose. And I did that. Yet, to this day, I have not downloaded one piece of music. We even have iTunes on our computer but I don't use it. I don't have an iPod. Lady Hem used to have one but she left it on a plane. Don't ask. I still have my old Walkman. My cassette Walkman. I don't use it. Well, not for the purpose it was designed anyway. But I still buy CD's. Hell, I still buy vinyl AND cassettes. A lot of the music I like isn't available to download anyway.

Still, I do consider myself a Luddite. Not that I want to destroy technology but there is some of it don't want to embrace. And the Kindle is a prime example. I understand it but I don't want any part of it. I like the feel of a book. I like the heft of one. I don't necessarily want a whole library in my pocket. But it doesn't mean that I don't think it shouldn't have been invented. I suppose I despair a little at what Syd will be reading by the time she hits school. It's only five years down the track but shit, a lot can happen in five years. I'm sure the Kindle and tablets etc will be mandatory school equipment; the same as when we all would get exercise books to write in when we started a new school year.

I know this probably seems pretty stupid but I wonder if handwriting will go the way of the stone tablet? With so much being done on line these days, will there be any use for handwriting in, say, twenty years time? Will it be quaint and old fashioned, like those old remotes that connected to your TV with a cord? Will there even be any need to read? Surely in twenty years time, everything will be read out to us?

*I've just spell checked this and it doesn't recognise iPod or iTunes. Surely, in this day and age, these are words that are dictionary ready by now? It does, however, recognise Kindle. What's a Kindle? To Google!!

Abracadabra and all that jazz

Get ready people, it's our last chance to blog. You thought the Blogger meltdown was a catastrophe; you aint seen nothin' yet.

Because, as any good Christian (or anyone who reads the news or other people's blogs) will tell you: Saturday, May 21st, is the Rapture.

OOOOOOhhhh, scary.

Never mind that the Rapture has been predicted umpteen times before and passed us by without so much as a whisper; this Saturday, hang on to your hats. Two million Christians will ascend to the heavens with Jesus the Christ; while the rest of us endure five months of pandemonium before descending into hell.

What's the deal with the five months, by the way? Isn't hell enough? Or is this just a preparation? So when we get to hell we'll think, 'you know, that five months before wasn't so bad.'

But, while I'm digressing, I have a question. Will the Rapture only happen in the Northern Hemisphere? Or will there be two? Because, as any fool knows, we in the Southern Hemisphere are at least ten hours ahead of you guys. So will our Rapture actually be on the 22nd? Or will God somehow correspond all times so the Northern and Southern Hemispheres match up for the first time in ever? That would be a pretty good feat actually. Worthy of a God almost. I only ask though, because the Rapture is something you probably should prepare for. And, let's face it:

I wouldn't want to max out my credit cards prematurely.

I do complain a lot, don't I?

That actually wasn't really a question.

So, what am I complaining about this time? A couple of things actually. One: I'm getting sick and tired of being portrayed as a useless Man-Child. And Two: I'm getting sick and tired of portrayals of ugly men with beautiful women.

Astute readers (and I only attract astute readers) will realise that I'm talking about movies and TV. Now, I know most of these portrayals are in, well, I suppose their comedies, but seriously, isn't about time we all grew up? I do know a couple of Man-Childs? Men-Children? Peter Pan types and they can be annoying but you what? They're not completely brain dead. Yes, they're self-obsessed and yes they complain when they have to do anything that might be considered caring for their kids but they do get the job done and they're not completely cringe worthy tools. It seems like men are portrayed as either manly, take-charge guys, or the ridiculous Man-Child. Why not a guy who has it together? Who holds down a job that, he doesn't hate but doesn't love but has other interests outside of that, that keeps him occupied and happy? Who loves his wife and isn't interested in hooking up with someone else? Someone, I don't know, normal? I know great drama - even great comedy - comes from conflict but surely men can be portrayed as relatively sure people. Conflict comes as much from normality as it does from stupidity.

And, what's with ugly, fat losers being with beautiful, smart together women? Why not a beautiful, smart, together guy being with a fat, ugly, Girl-Child? I hate to say it, but the only program I can think of that that is even willing to EXPLORE this stereotype, is Glee.

And when you're sighting Glee as a stereotype busting program (a program I happen to love - full disclosure), maybe there is no hope for the future.