Get ready people, it's our last chance to blog. You thought the Blogger meltdown was a catastrophe; you aint seen nothin' yet.
Because, as any good Christian (or anyone who reads the news or other people's blogs) will tell you: Saturday, May 21st, is the Rapture.
Never mind that the Rapture has been predicted umpteen times before and passed us by without so much as a whisper; this Saturday, hang on to your hats. Two million Christians will ascend to the heavens with Jesus the Christ; while the rest of us endure five months of pandemonium before descending into hell.
What's the deal with the five months, by the way? Isn't hell enough? Or is this just a preparation? So when we get to hell we'll think, 'you know, that five months before wasn't so bad.'
But, while I'm digressing, I have a question. Will the Rapture only happen in the Northern Hemisphere? Or will there be two? Because, as any fool knows, we in the Southern Hemisphere are at least ten hours ahead of you guys. So will our Rapture actually be on the 22nd? Or will God somehow correspond all times so the Northern and Southern Hemispheres match up for the first time in ever? That would be a pretty good feat actually. Worthy of a God almost. I only ask though, because the Rapture is something you probably should prepare for. And, let's face it:
I wouldn't want to max out my credit cards prematurely.