I've written about this before, on the deleted blog. This isn't a re post so much as just something I've written before. I've mentioned in another post that I repeat myself all the time. Here is an example.
I used to be a voracious reader. These days, not so much. The main things I read these days are the paper and blogs. And that's pretty much it. I'm not particularly proud of this fact but, there it is. I've given up on the book.
Why? Well, for selfish reasons mostly. I feel inferior when I read a book. Anyone who knows me would say that I feel inferior most of the time and they'd be right but I really feel inferior when I read a book. And why is that? Well, because I'm a writer.
Or rather, because I'm not a writer. Not a published writer with a book. So the fuck what, you should be rightly saying. And I agree, on the surface. But, you see, I'm a needy kind of guy. I need constant approval. And when I say constant, I'm not exaggerating. Have you read anything I've written? Seriously, this whole blog is a beg for attention.
But isn't everyone's? Isn't that why we blog? Of course and anyone who says 'no' is lying. To themselves if not anyone else. Anything creative is a beg for attention. "Look at me! Look at what I can do!! Aren't I fabulous!!!???" But I love blogs. I love to read them. I love to write in mine. Because the attention is instant. And people will like you or not and you can generally find out pretty soon. But also, I love blogs because they're so simple.
It's hard to be authentically pretentious on a blog. Well, not hard exactly, but it really shows. But writing a book, or an article or something like that for publication? Oh yeah, that's easy to get all 'writerly.' It does make me laugh to read a newspaper article that will start something like, 'I watched the light catching the rain dripping from the trees, like angel tears in summer.' This isn't a direct quote but I've read many pieces like this. And the story might be about a lost child, or even a murder but you won't find that out until the final paragraph. Because the reporter is too lost in 'oh mummy, look how PRETTY I'm writing!'
This is harder to do on a blog. It's more conversational. I've always preferred writing that was simple. Even to the point of moronic. Bukowski was and is still one of my favourite writers. Because he doesn't bullshit around. He doesn't spend page after page of useless description before he gets to the 'hello.' He's at the 'hello' from page one.
Hemingway was another. "I went to the river. The river was there." Simple. No crap. He went to the fucking river. Is it so hard?
That's what I want to do. With this blog. I want it to be like we're having a conversation. Sure, it's like a one-way conversation with the most boring drunk on earth but still, it's a conversation. And it's my only chance. My chance to be published. Because it isn't going to happen any other way, that's obvious.