I've just gotten rid of the short description of this blog, because I've come to realise that it's a load of shit. I'm not actually sure what thoughts I've had, or am having, that can't be discarded. I'm not sure at all, why I've re-started this blog.
I'm not about to delete it. I'm not even about to finish up with it. I like having a blog. I like writing my blog and I like that a couple of people read it. And even make comments on it. What I'm not sure of, is why I need to put any of this out into the open.
I could just buy a journal and do that. It would virtually achieve the same objective; the need to write. As I've said before, I've tried to quit writing and have found it too hard to do. Yet, every day, I struggle for things to come up with; for things to write. This re-started blog is akin to a band you used to like who have gotten back together: I like you old stuff better than your new stuff.
This blog used to be good once. In my very humble opinion, it used to be very good. And it used to be easy. It got harder as the days went on but, I remember racing to one hundred posts and barely breaking a sweat. I write this blog at work, mostly, and I used to write two, sometimes three posts in a day and archive them, so I'd have something to post every day. Now, I sometimes panic when I think it's time to blog. Yes, I know I could just blog whenever I felt like it but, a blog is really a conversation, isn't it? And a one-sided conversation gets stale after a while. A blog needs life to grow. It needs updates for people to stay interested. You need to write to improve.
But does it all really matter? Would it matter if I got no more followers? Would it matter if I suddenly gained a hundred? No. Because all that matters is what I want out of it. And, the thing I think I want out of it most, is the push to keep writing.
And maybe, in the end, that's all we need our blogs for. To be forced to keep going. To have a reason improve.
To have a reason to not give up.